If it does not hurt a little bit, you did not do it right.

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I don’t believe in saying Goodbye.

That is not because I am mentally weak, and I cannot handle the fact that some folks move in and out of our lives from time to time. I am fine with that.  It is because saying “goodbye” is inaccurate.

See you later.  Now THAT is accurate. I like that much better.

Whether we are talking about friends moving hundreds of miles away or whether we are grieving over loved ones who have passed..it makes no difference. We will see them later. There is NO need to use the “G” word.

This week for me is full of those types of experiences. That is NOT a bad thing, but it is a thing.

If it does not hurt (at least a little bit) to watch folks head into their next adventure or venture, then you did not do it right. I mean that. You NEED to feel the sting of friends leaving. Love, whether the friendship type or the more intimate type, is always a mistake worth making.

The heart aches and heart pains of life are what tells us that we can feel. They let us know that we are alive. To protect yourself from that completely means that you are wearing gardner’s gloves versus the thin latex gloves of a surgeon.  One protects us from the hurts, but it does not allow us to be sensitive and feel. You cannot have it both ways.

Another interesting thing that I have experienced is that everyone says “see you later” differently. Some folks need to grieve a bit and then they are ok. Others grow silent and contemplative as separation grows near. Some get angry. Some get stoic.

And it’s all good.

Reactions to parting friends are personal, deep, and part of who each of us is. And it is all ok. Different people, different needs.

It should and does teach us to not waste time and savor the moments we have. Love like there is no tomorrow. Don’t be afraid to sing, dance, smile and wear Hawaiian shirts when it is below freezing, just to see what people say. Like I said, if it does not hurt just a little bit, you did not do it right.

 

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