An ode to Dish Network. Breaking Up is Hard to Do. :-)

Standard

Posted without comment other than to say look towards the end for the funnier parts. These guys do NOT take no for an answer.

Donna (ID: A6F): Hi, my name is Donna (ID: A6F). How may I help you?
Donna (ID: A6F): Hi, Eric! I hope you’re having a great day today!
Eric Blackwell: Hi Donna – We wish to cancel our account
Eric Blackwell: How do we go about that
Donna (ID: A6F): It is sad to hear that you want to cancel your service. May I know the reason why?

Eric Blackwell: Sure. We talked to a customer service rep and they said they would reduce our bill by about $25 per month and this month = was not the case.
Donna (ID: A6F): I am sorry about that, Eric.
Eric Blackwell: So we just want to cancel.
Donna (ID: A6F): We’d hate to lose you as one of our customers. Let’s completely review your account and see what we can do to keep you as a valued customer.

Donna (ID: A6F): May I know your phone number please?
Eric Blackwell: REDACTED
Donna (ID: A6F): Thank you.
Donna (ID: A6F): For security purposes, would you please verify the 4 digit Security Code on the account?
Eric Blackwell: Thinking it is REDACTED
Eric Blackwell: is that correct?
Donna (ID: A6F): It does not match what we have on file. But that’s okay.
Donna (ID: A6F): In order to access your account, would you please answer your online security question – What is your mother’s maiden name?
Eric Blackwell: lets try REDACTED
Donna (ID: A6F): Thank you.
Donna (ID: A6F): That is correct.
Donna (ID: A6F): When was the $25.00 credits promised?
Eric Blackwell: I do not remember exactly. It was my wife Jennifer that talked to them. She received the bill and said to just cancel.
Eric Blackwell: She is at work right now
Donna (ID: A6F): I see.
Donna (ID: A6F): The reason your bill is high this month is because we did not receiver payment last February.
But here is the thing, I am seeing that there is a credit of $15.00 on your account. You will receive it for 10 months, starting March.
Eric Blackwell: That is not what she was told. Let’s just cancel
Eric Blackwell: thanks
Donna (ID: A6F): I understand.

Donna (ID: A6F): I am sorry to hear that you want to disconnect your service. We prefer that you call us and allow us to review all of the options available to you. You can reach an account specialist at 866-218-2297 who will personally handle your request and ensure that we cover all of the necessary information needed to cancel your account.
Donna (ID: A6F): Or I could connect you directly to our Account Specialist for this concern. Which do you prefer?

Eric Blackwell: not going to change my mind. Whichever will terminate the account the easiest
Donna (ID: A6F): I understand.
Eric Blackwell: I am working as well, so looking for the quickest solution. Chat is preferred
Donna (ID: A6F): No problem.
Donna (ID: A6F): Please give me a moment to make some notes on your account first.
Eric Blackwell: sure np
Donna (ID: A6F): Thank you so much.
Donna (ID: A6F): Thank you for waiting, Eric.
Donna (ID: A6F): I consulted my supervisor about this, and here is what we can do, since you are already receiving the $15.00 credits. Let me give you $5.00 credits for the next 6 months.
Eric Blackwell: appreciated but just want to cancel please
Donna (ID: A6F): I understand.
Eric Blackwell: thanks
Donna (ID: A6F): No problem.
Donna (ID: A6F): One last question, Eric.
Do you know anyone who is willing to take over the account?
Eric Blackwell: ?? no idea what that means
Donna (ID: A6F): Someone who will take over your account, like a new account owner/
Eric Blackwell: but dont think so
Eric Blackwell: no
Donna (ID: A6F): I understand.
Donna (ID: A6F): Thank you for taking your time off to contact us. We have a Specialized Department who can further assist you with your concern and provide you with the necessary information that you need. Please stay online while I transfer you.
Donna (ID: A6F) has disconnected.
Michelle (ID: N35): Hi, my name is Michelle (ID: N35). How may I help you?
Michelle (ID: N35): Thank you for contacting the customer Loyalty Department at DISH. Please give me a few moments to review the previous chat. If you need to reference this chat my name is Michelle and my operator ID is N35. I look forward to helping you today.
Eric Blackwell: Hi Michelle. Just need to cancel please. Not more offers. Just cancel
Michelle (ID: N35): I’m sorry that you wish to cancel your service, Eric. May I ask why?
Eric Blackwell: Look. I am at work and I have already explained it in the chat above. Please read that and if you have questions let me know. I wish to cancel, that should be enough.
Eric Blackwell: Getting irritated now.
Michelle (ID: N35): I’m sorry about that, Eric. I see that you are upset about your bill because of a discount you are receiving. What I show is that you were offered a $15 discount on your programming package which you are currently receiving.
Eric Blackwell: My wife was offered a $25 discount verbally. It did not show up on the bill. We do not do business with people who say one thing and do another. Simple as that. We wish to cancel.
Eric Blackwell: I stated that above.
Michelle (ID: N35): I’m sorry you feel that way, Eric. I see that the previous representative offered to have someone take the account over for you, would you like to reconsider? This is a perfect option for any friends or family members that may not be able to qualify for our service.
Eric Blackwell: Which part of “Please CANCEL my account” is not CLEAR to you? I am REALLY getting irritated now. Please do as I ask. I work in online marketing and you TRULY do not want the negative publicity that I can generate with a single Facebook post. Is that more clear?
Michelle (ID: N35): I’m sorry you feel that way, Eric. I’m just trying to do what I can to assist you today.
Eric Blackwell: What you can do is please cancel my account.
Michelle (ID: N35): What we can do is offer an additional $10 credit for 10 months. That would provide you with the $25 discount you said you were offerd.
Eric Blackwell: Oh for crap’s sake. PLEASE cancel my account. Period. Done.
Michelle (ID: N35): When would you like to cancel your service? I can cancel it today or schedule it within the next 30 days.
Eric Blackwell: Now please. Immediately.

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